hiihi i havent been working on my site much this month, i dont think ive been doing that well,, ok this blog is just for some updates since then okok
general stuff
i am moving okay and my school ends on june 10th, i think i will be a freshmen again next year though i failed like 6 classes this year because its been actually the worst year ever fuck everyone at my school except the one friend i have and that one girl who baekd me cookies for my birthday who was in my science she also made them like a disgusting red colour to try and make them pink bc she asked me my fav colour okay, also that one girl who would talk to me about my chemical romance also in my science class i miss my science class and i fricking failed it the entire year is the issue not even just the teachers and the class they were all so nice and i love earth science okay,, also about moving im liek moving to my new home tomorrow ive been left home alone all weekend because they wont move my bed until the very last day or unless i say something about it but i hate my entire family so i dont fricking care frick okay im just kindof paranoid at all times in my home because of the window incident
drawing
ive been kindof having fun drawing again, i got one of my ocs refs done for artfight andi did a rendered drawing of my smile dog cbc Kunst anddd i did some other sutff look at my fnaf 2 themed adopt kittens please buy them you give me toyhouse premium to buy
collection stuff
okok so i havengone to the mall manymany times so i have gotten lots of new things
i got a bunchof pokespe books since then i think im having memory problems sorry, a vaporeon build a bear, a fennekin plush, a vaporeon plush, a pokemon battle figure set witha pikachu and SNEASEL, some of the newer warrior cats blind box toys (specifically the yellowfang plush, greystripe plush, and the yellowfang figure I WANT SCOURGE), four series 5 g7 lps (#G7 - #458, #G7 - #464, #G7 - #464, #G7 - #459), and i got a my little pony dvd
crusty chromebook photos:
laptop and stuff
my dad got me a really really nice laptop its nicer than i need okay, i really like it thoug
ive been playing evil pirated mewgenics alot and also wobbledogs and hiveswap ive started becoming really interested in hiveswap like i was when i was 13 again, not homestuck htough i dont reallt care about homestuck i think i started losing interest when i was about to turn 15 im like halfway through being 15 rn okay not long ago
my dads gonna get me a drawing tablet so ill be able to use flash again on my laptop i alrready got flash downloaded it on t
why im evil and dont do work
okok so i am very sad and stuff so this is the really evil sadness part
ive been getting significantly worse mentally and physically recently and im pretty sure it was caused by the people bullying me at school being slightly meaner liek 3 weeks ago, i dont even remember i already said before i am havign horrid memory problems whichi do usually have its just been a lot worse than it usually is. i dont think the bullying i experience is bad enough that it should be affecting me how it does, it mainly just makes me upset that anyone just sees me and decides im stupid and need to be tricked into speaking and saying stupid shit, by stupid shit i mean "im okay" apparently, i get bullied by people who are the tpyes of people to say their friend likes you or that youre best friends riiight so the types to try and make you say something stupid. but for some reason okay, i tripped on a rock when i was walking to my econ class the week that this started and these girls behind me asked if i was okay, so i got up fast and i just said im okay and i got laughed at, not for falling and looking stupid, but for saying im fine?? i dont get how its funny, i wasnt okay btw i fucked up my leg when i fell. it hurt to bend my leg for like two weeks because it wasnt just i scraped my knee, i had a giant bruise on both altho one wasnt scraped nearly as bad as the other, but the bruises were direcrly where it was scraped on the bad one so obviously it hurt terribly and when i got to my econ class i started crying and it was really embarassing because i get bullied by gross men in that class who make sex jokes about me so i dont want people like that to see me crying. also this was all after pe and i also get bullied in pe by some guy who likes to follow me around and do like a stupid like pennywise voice and say hes gonna get me which i wouldnt give a shit about if he didnt walk directly behind me like nearly stepping on the back of my shoes because how close he is, it makes me so uncomfortable that i want to cry. that one day alone i think i got bullied bad enough it caused something to happen, i dont know if theres a word for it or anything its just caused me to be 10x worse than i was before. ive lost modivation to do a lot of stuff, thats the main reason i havent been working on my site much. i think its affected my ammune system stuff, ive gotten sick twice since it happened the first time it lasted like a week and this time it started on thursday and its monday morning now and it still hasnt gotten any better it just went from just a fever to just constant coughing. i have luckily been able to stay home whenever ive been sick but its only really cause i told my dad he never listens to me and it makes me feel like he thinks im lying, or thats what i meant it as but also HE DOES THINK I AM LYING, he keeps asking for my report card for example WE DONT FUCKIGN HAVE REPORT CARDS OH MY DOGG asking after i said why i cant IS SAYING IM LYING WITHOUT SAYING IT. also my pe teacher knows i get bullied and he knows i am severely anxious his entire class and doesnt care and he just says how im failing his class bc i sit out constantly I WONDER WHY I DO THAT OH MYDOGGGGG adults are all so useless genuinely, i also have told my dad and i tell him im scared to go every single day that i have pe and he never takes it seriously
aside from school issues and being sickly ive also developed other issues. i think something is wrong with my physically bc i have realy bad arfid so im not healthy and i dont htink ive been healthy ever so i am not surpised if i have ever developed problems related to that but ive started getting really dizzy half of the time when i stand up i wasnt able to go down the stairs at one of my friends homes when i went there okok bc i was dizzy. i also have developed a fear of my friends hating me i already had this b4 but its a lot worse now okay, it can be literally just my friend leaving a call without the reason being something that i hear every day and expect, even if its just leaving to go do something else it makes me really anxious and think i did something and my friends area ll judging me and hate me and want me publicly executed and want to never speak to me again. ive also started to randomly forget where i am and what im supposed to do not int he normal way to do that, i fully forget i am even in my school while walking to a class and then panic because i dont know whats going on. ive also been remembering traumatic stuff a lot, this is usually the reason im upset when i am so this is really nothing new, i think its just been a little bit worse than usual
